backcountry skiing with the foothill freak

 

Skewered Plans

July 15th, 2004

kuma

 

It started off like any ordinary mountainbike ride. At the trailhead, Helmutt and I covertly packed our backpacks with break down saws, pruners, and any other "trail maintenance" equipment that would fit. We were on a secret mission, with plans for a mostly trailless canyon that I had discovered on a run the week before.

Big Plans.

We hopped on the bikes and headed up canyon. Our four legged friends StarChild and ScruffBucket bounced and barked with excited anticipation.

Helmutt and the dogs got ahead from the start. I turned it down a notch, conserving my energies for sawing logs rather than spinning gears. I was enjoying the air, surprisingly cooler than the heat of the valley not that far away. I was enjoying a relaxed bike ride after a long day at work.

I guess I was enjoying pedaling too, because eventually I started to catch up to Helmutt and the pooper patrol. StarChild came running back, snorted a greeting, and dropped in behind me. ScruffBucket was still galloping up ahead. Then I saw Helmutt starting off up a distant climb. I suddenly felt the need to crank it up and close the gap. The trail flattened out. I up shifted and started to really step on it.

StarChild wasn't content with my progress. I saw her move out from behind me to pass on the right. She made a break for it off the side of the narrow trail, shooting through the tall grass with her head lowered like she does whenever she's in full sprint.

She meant business.

Then we were side by side, hurtling down the trail at top speed. Suddenly, there was a loud crack. StarChild was abruptly stopped as I sped ahead. She immediately broke out into a prolonged series of blood curdling yips, cries that burned into my memory. I slammed my breaks into a sudden stop of my own, dropped the bike and ran back up the trail. That's when I noticed a log, lying by the side of the trail, that had been hidden in the tall grasses. A log that was over 14 feet long and which tapered down to a smaller, javelin sized point.

I don't like seeing blood. It makes me want to look away. And now I was looking at the most horrible thing I'd ever seen. But due to the urgency of the situation, I could not look away. StarChild was impaled on the end of the log. It went in her thigh above her knee, punched through the inside of her leg, and protruded out by her calf, still partially covered in skin. The wound was raw with torn flesh, Her whole leg twisted into an impossible angle. She was stuck on the end.

She looked at me, imploring, her left ear bright red with fresh blood. She wanted this stick out of her leg, pronto. I was about to pull her leg free when I remembered some ancient first aid training: leave impaled objects in place to minimize bleeding and infection. Then I remembered our saws.

I called out to Helmutt, "Help, help!" He somehow heard my call and spun around.
I threw down my pack in a nervous thud, and rifled through for the saw. But StarChild wasn't so patient. She had yanked herself off the pointy end and was standing there, relieved. She seemed to be ignoring the fact that the skin of her thigh was split almost all the way around her leg and was drooping down, leaving the inside of her thigh and knee completely skinless and exposed.

Amazingly, the huge wound was mostly bloodless. Her fate seemed better now, but we still felt an urgent need to get her out of the woods and sewn up. We gathered our belongings and started back.

Could StarChild walk? She fired off a series of solid, defiant steps towards the car, then suddenly stopped. She stood there like a statue, unmoving, and gave me another one of her looks. A look that said: I really want out of here but I ain't going to make it on my own 4 feet so please don't leave me here carry me if you have to because I'm still cute aren't I look I'm still wagging my tail don't leave me here and could you tell ScruffBucket to back off?

So we carried her. Very valiantly at first. 60 lbs can feel feather weight when you're saving a little furry universe. But over time you start to feel every bit of the burden. Helmutt and I took turns carrying her. Turns that started off long, then became exponentially shorter as our biceps became blown from carrying the wounded cargo. Near the end, we were doing shifts that were probably less than a minute long, but we made it, and StarChild seemed quite pleased to be not walking. We carried her over a mile.

We dropped Scruffbucket off at the bachelor pad, then b-lined for the emergency pet hospital. Our vet had seen Starchild before for a glass cut, but this time he was far more concerned about the damage done. He pointed out that she could have very easily severed her femoral artery, or had run the spear into her upper chest, both of which would have likely been fatal.

He also went over what her surgery would entail, and the likely results. He had to go over the worst case scenario with us, saying the one word I really didn't want to hear: "amputation". But her true outlook was better than that. A lot of stitches inside and out, a few weeks taking it easy and maybe she'd even recover full range of motion in her leg.

Then He gave us the worst news of all, "she's going to have to say the night in the hospital." I really didn't want to leave her. She just hates to be left behind... Or is it that I just hate leaving her behind. I was planning on looking over the vet's shoulder as he sewed her back up. Maybe give some constructive guidance, you know, make sure that the vet was doing it right. I was planning on holding StarChild's paw so that I'd feel better. But we were sent home instead, leaving StarChild tranquilized, in a stainless steel cage to await her surgery.

By the morning the news had settled and we were all feeling better about it. We picked her up promptly, anxious to be with our wounded little furball. At the hospital there was a happy reunion. She wagged her tail and even strutted a bit before quickly settling back down into a wounded daze. I lifted her, carefully placed her in the car and took her home.

She's been getting better ever since.

kuma kone
Star child after running into a pointy log at full sprint. Unfortunately, the log won, resulting in a self imposed shish-kabob. Elizabethan collar by MWI. $20.

stitches
The black sutures are to close the wound, whereas the blue sutures rejoin the torn muscles. The stick speared through her leg at her knee, barely missing her femoral artery.