The Freaks'
Mostly Accurate
Ski Glossary

• Introduction
• Original Freaktionary
• Terms of Endearment
• Ways to Ride/Tour
• Ways to Suddenly Stop Riding
• Paraphernalia
• Snow Conditions
• Terrain Features
• Avy Country

Ways to Suddenly Stop Riding

Auger

verb. To go headfirst into the snow, achieving deep penetration.

Beater

verb. To simulate the action of an egg beater. Usually followed by a yard sale.

Catch an Edge

verb. To suddenly engage the metal edge of a board without meaning to. Ackward on skis. Painful on a snowboard.

Colorado Starfish

verb. A prolonged tumble of such cetrufiginal forces that bodily limbs become fully extended.

Crash & Burn

verb. A tumble with high theatrical value.

Crater

verb. To impact the snowpack in such a manner that results in a large and deep concavity. Performance of an extremely deep cratering may lead to airway obstruction.

Face Plant

verb. To tumble and land face first. With good technique, may result in therapeutic vertebral re-alignment.

Pre-release

verb. Term used by riders on releasable bindings who tend to crash more often than others.

Rag doll

verb. A prolonged tumble that clearly indicates a total loss of control of limbs, coordination and bodily functions in general.

Stack

verb. To impact a terrain feature in such a manner as to suggest permanent or temporary spinal compression.

The Agony of Defeat

adjective. To crash and burn with fame potential. noun. Footage of a painfully aborted ski jump by Slovenian ski jumper Vinko Bogataj, mercilessly shown for decades in the intro to the 70's tv show "ABC's Wide World of Sports"

Thumb Tack

verb. To impact the snowpack head first in such a manner that the oxygen supply is completely obstructed. Without proper self rescue skills or extrication assistance, a thumb tack event may be fatal.

Yard Sale

verb. To tumble in such a manner that the majority of you equipment is scattered about the mountain. By nature, skiers are able to perform much better yard sales than snowboarders.