backcountry skiing with the foothill freak

The Freaks'
Mostly Accurate
Ski Glossary

Ways to Suddenly Stop Riding

verb. To go headfirst into the snow, achieving deep penetration.
verb. To simulate the action of an egg beater. Usually followed by a yard sale.
Catch an Edge
verb. To suddenly engage the metal edge of a board without meaning to. Ackward on skis. Painful on a snowboard.
Colorado Starfish
verb. A prolonged tumble of such cetrufiginal forces that bodily limbs become fully extended.
Crash & Burn
verb. A tumble with high theatrical value.
verb. To impact the snowpack in such a manner that results in a large and deep concavity. Performance of an extremely deep cratering may lead to airway obstruction.
Face Plant
verb. To tumble and land face first. With good technique, may result in therapeutic vertebral re-alignment.
verb. Term used by riders on releasable bindings who tend to crash more often than others.
Rag doll
verb. A prolonged tumble that clearly indicates a total loss of control of limbs, coordination and bodily functions in general.
verb. To impact a terrain feature in such a manner as to suggest permanent or temporary spinal compression.
The Agony of Defeat
adjective. To crash and burn with fame potential. noun. Footage of a painfully aborted ski jump by Slovenian ski jumper Vinko Bogataj, mercilessly shown for decades in the intro to the 70's tv show "ABC's Wide World of Sports"
Thumb Tack
verb. To impact the snowpack head first in such a manner that the oxygen supply is completely obstructed. Without proper self rescue skills or extrication assistance, a thumb tack event may be fatal.
Yard Sale
verb. To tumble in such a manner that the majority of you equipment is scattered about the mountain. By nature, skiers are able to perform much better yard sales than snowboarders.