backcountry skiing with the foothill freak

The Freaks'
Mostly Accurate
Ski Glossary

Terms of Endearment

All-whiner
Noun. Alpine Skier.
Altoid
Noun. Alta local.
Beater
Noun. Flailing newbie.
Betty
Noun. Female rider. Often one who puts more energy into snow fashion than snow riding.
Crack of nooner
Noun. Skier who (luckily for powder lovers) prioritizes sleep over first chair.
Fruit booter
Noun. A skateboarder will tell you that a fruit booter is a roller-blader. A skier will tell you that a fruit booter is someone on mini-skis. A snowboarder will tell you that it's anyone who wears hard boots.
Gaper
Noun. A person that enjoys standing on snow and watching from a safe (or not so safe) distance.
Grommet, Grom
noun. Little rider. Named after the little rubber bushing found on skateboard trucks.
Jibber
Noun. One who focuses on jumping and tricks. Tend to block runs or congregate in wads.
Jibblets
Noun. Scaled down version of a jibber.
Knuckle Dragger
Noun. Snowboarder. In particular, one who rides with cro-magnon, mad steeze.
Moderate wind
Noun. Person on chairlift that won't shut up.
Newbie, Noob
Noun. If you don't know what this word is than you definitely are one.
Poacher
Noun. A snow rider who's choice of timing and terrain offends other riders, ski patrollers, gapers, land owners, wildlife, religious figures, friends, and/or local authorities.
Shred Betty
Noun. Betty of remarkable riding skills.
Sled Necks
Noun. Snow-mobiler.
Touron
Noun. A tourist that is also a moron.
Tray racer
Noun. Snowboarder.
Rat Stabber
Noun. Flailing skier (notoriously of the telemark species) that points their ski poles in odd and dangerous directions while skiing.
Wannabee
Noun. I'm not sure what this means. I was hoping you could tell me. While you're at it, do you know any good places to ski? Can I go with you?
Wad
Noun. Congregation of snowboarders sitting on the slope, usually in an annoying position blocking from above or hidden down below a slope feature.
Weekend Warrior
Trying to keep skiing 100 days a year when all you have is two days a week to do it.

 

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